The power of pretend

Our business is founded on the power of inquiry. For those of you who’ve had a Style Statement session, you know how illuminating simple questions can be. Every once and a while we encounter the “I don’t know,” pattern with a client. Before they actually reply to each question, they casually, almost unconsciously say, “Well, I don’t know…” For some of us, the “I don’t know” buffer is more than a reflex. It’s a deep and binding groove that holds fulfillment at bay. Here’s a handy lever for getting out of the “Dunno Rut”: PRETEND THAT YOU DO KNOW. Yep, fake it. Trick your subconscious. Play with your mind. Dunno what you want more of in your life? Well, what if you did know? Dunno what’s around the corner? Pretend that you do –- and dare yourself to plan accordingly.  

THIS WEEK: What’s one thing you’re feeling confused, perplexed or befuddled about? Pretend for a moment that you are all knowing and all sensing, and give yourself some profound insight. Make up some wisdom — just like a wise, straight-shootin’ friend would do for you. You won’t always get it right. But playing wise with yourself is the beginning of real mastery. We’re certain of it. 

{note: if you’d like to share your thoughts, we’d love to hear them. You can do so on our blog: www.carrieanddanielle.wordpress.com}

FAQ: Feelings & Process

We’ve just added to our site a “deeper” FAQ for new clients. It might also be great information for people who have a Style Statement…

Frequently Asked Questions: THE FEELINGS & PROCESS More questions, wonderings, curiosities on Style Statement? Allow us. 

“What if I’m changeable, all over the place, and I like to express my self in a lot of different ways?”Well firstly, it’s worth asking yourself if you actually like being all over the place. Are you driven by confusion, or freedom? Anxiety or sincere self expression?  

But let’s assume that variety truly is the healthy spice of your life. There is always a through-line to our personal stories, no matter how many scene changes we make. Underneath every choice you make, as different as those choices may appear to be, are deep longings and talents that live in the very roots of your spirit. On the surface you may be constantly altering your image or your direction, but if you look more deeply into your varied interests, jobs, looks or relationships, you will inevitably see common and connected themes running through your decisions.  

Let’s say you’re feeling and looking girlish on Sunday, and dressing vampy on Monday. Maybe underneath those different “costumes” is the drive to express your feminine power — same agenda, different expressions. Or maybe you’re someone who’s a party animal with your friends, but at work you’re dignified and low key. The common theme in those different personas could be that what matters to you most is building community and honoring tradition. 

Your Style Statement anchors you to your essence – which can be expressed truthfully, in endless ways. 

“How can two words define so much of me?”A single word can distill all that you know to be good, beautiful, and true. Words carry energy. Every word has its own history and momentum. Every word is the result of cultural enterprise, constructed over ages of time. Applied with intention, words are magic formulas.  

Look into a word and you will find a world of meaning and possibility. This is a forum for understanding and harnessing the power of words. 

Arranged in their 80/20 combination your “first word” (your foundation) and “second word” (your creative edge) envelope the ideal look, the feel, and the spirit how you move through the world. 

“Can two words guide my life?”It takes only a small rudder to steer a ship. Your Style Statement is a rudder, a tool. Tools are only useful when you’re, well, using them. Learning to make a new tool do what you want it to do can take some practice. If you consciously factor your Style Statement into your decision making, and creations, and ways of relating to yourself and others, then yes!, unequivocally, those two words will guide your life in the direction you want it to go.  

“I know myself well and feel on track with my life.”Excellent. Then you know that under every layer is another layer of the truth. Keep asking, moving, and growing. Having a Style Statement can help you steer more clearly through blind spots and learning curves. 

“I’m fashionable, stylish, and happy with my look.”Terrific. A Style Statement encompasses the look, feel and the spirit of who you really are. This is about more than how you dress or decorate; this is about how you relate and create in every area of living.  

“I have no interest in fashion.”Why not? Fashion matters. Humans are sensory creatures and the way we dress speaks volumes. It’s an unavoidable fact of our culture. Having a Style Statement is not about being a fashion plate. It is about being aware, authentic, and sending clear signals. 

“I am anti-consumer. I don’t want to have to buy new stuff because of on my Style Statement.”Knowing your Style Statement helps you shop more wisely, so you will actually save plenty of time, money and effort. But it’s also worth considering that it’s time to bring some new stuff into your life that better reflects who you are.  

What if my friends don’t agree with my Style Statement?Follow your heart. Sometimes our friends can see us more clearly than we see ourselves and their perspective is incredibly valuable. Sometimes, it’s best to say “Thanks, but no thanks,” and keep on walkin’. Your Style Statement is meant to inform and guide you – not the people around you.

How do Style Statements work in partnerships and sharing space?Having a hard time reconciling your partner’s wagon wheel coffee table with your floral sofa? Or your extroversion with your partner’s reclusive nature? Then you can each create your own Style Statement and combine them into one Style Statement for your relationship and shared space. For example: Cultivated Play meets Classic Earth. The two of you could become Cultivated Earth or Classic Play. You’ll have to negotiate on what matters most to you, where your common ground is and what words would feel inspiring or comforting as a team.

Is a Style Statement the same a personal “brand”?The popular use of the term “personal branding” describes the strategy of packaging marketing your identity for commercial purposes. It can be very useful in the marketplace because it helps you differentiate from the competition. A Style Statement can be immensely useful in creating business success, but it is not about packaging yourself to gain appeal. It works from the inside out, not the outside in. It’s about being genuinely you in every area of your life. 

“Will my Style Statement change over time?”It depends. When we’re in our teens or in early adult hood, it’s not always easy to see the full extent of our essence yet. Often, the truth takes some time, or some breakthroughs, to be revealed. It’s not our essence that changes over time, but rather our ability to see and feel it. As your inner vision improves with experience, it’s a valuable exercise to be sure that who you see now, is fundamentally the same person you saw yesterday. 

The heart of you is enduring. Your spirit transcends trends and eras. We believe that if you name your Style Statement at a stage of life when you know who you are and what you’re made of, then it will endure indefinitely, perhaps for a lifetime.