What’s your currency?
January 12, 2007
We all have something to give. Time. Money. Information. Wisdom. The more we give of our natural gifts, the more we get in return.
THIS WEEK: think about what you’re great at. Make a list and make it long. Nothing is too trivial, grand or abstract…home renos, buying art, collecting recipes, non-judgmental listening, finding romance, raising loving kids, negotiating big purchases; baking, making money, knowing lot’s of people, reading amazing books; copy editing or closet organizing; giving terrific parties, neck rubs, or spiritual perspective.
Consider two or three things on your list that give you the most fun and fulfillment, and put them into a form to give away…via a donation, a conversation, a thoughtful email, or an offer to help out for an afternoon.
Feel the rewards of doing what comes so naturally to you. Notice how immensely constructive ease can be.
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January 18, 2007 at 5:07 pm
The initial value in this week’s exercise is that this got me thinking about self-celebration rather than self-denigration.
Focusing on what works is powerful stuff.
It’s a real turn around from my never-ending spates of self-improvement, where I find what I suck at, harp on it, try to improve it, frustrate myself and everyone around me, and then give up feeling worse than when I started. For instance, I try to be a “winter sports” sort of person because my husband loves to ski. I don’t like skiing, I don’t do it well, I hate the clothes, the crowds, the abject terror of uncontrolled speed…. …the list goes on. But worse than all that is the constant reminder that this is something I’m really and truly not good at. And then I feel rotten. So last week, on top of Mount Seymour, I stomped around in the snow considering how it all made me feel (the true measuring stick for whether or not to do something). At the end of the afternoon, I was tired, cold, uncomfortable, grouchy, hungry, and pretty sure I twisted something the wrong way. However, if I’d spent the afternoon in a studio, with all the paints I could ever want, I’d have forgotten to eat and not cared, I’d have gone into the same kind of blissful trance I’m sure my husband gets while careening down a snow-covered mountain
I like to think I’m good at painting. Years ago, as a gift to a friend, I painted a portrait of her new baby. Word got out, and other friends started requesting similar things. At first, it was a joy, and I was immensely flattered that they wanted my work. But when more people, friends of friends, and so on, started requesting this gratis work, the currency changed from benevolence to a chore. And I figured I needed to start charging for it. But I wasn’t comfortable with doing that. So I stopped doing it for a few years.
And something dried up inside me.
Then, after my mother died, I made a portrait of her as a gift to my father. It was truly a labour of love. Not only did I reconnect with her in an intimate way, I gave my father something precious – from the heart. He went into the whole – “you should do commissioned work” – but once I accept money for it, it changes. That’s not the currency here. The currency is Love.
And like everything else, the more you give, the more get.
January 19, 2007 at 5:34 pm
Wow, do I resonate with the ‘I hate skiing’ thing! After trying hard to enjoy getting wet and cold because my husband loves to ski ( and three broken bones later!) I no longer go on the3 slopes. Has this made a difference? Yes, big time. I still get requests to’Just go to Big White for the weekend, and I will pay for the spa” but even that does not work. Now my husband goes skiing on his own, I stay home nad do my stuff and we meet for a great meal at the end of the day. That way we both get paid in ‘our currency’. Sure, we miss time being together but as that time was usually spent arguing (or fixing bones!) it was not quality time.
It took me years to realize that my currency differed from that of my husband – well done classic-lustre, you learned more quickly than me.
Elegant-nature
January 19, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Patricia – you are MY kind of woman! You validated my thoughts on this…thank you. That’s the greatest thing about Style Statement: it filters out what isn’t true for you and distills it into more of what is. When you’re doing what you love and what you’re good at – you’re happy. Your own happiness is the best currency to pay those around you.